Just fifteen years ago, my dear Mother died. The memory of her love and her excellence is still fresh in my heart. Such a life of usefulness as hers it will never be mine to live, but if through infinite and undeserved grace I may attain to the blessedness that she enjoys, it is enough. Let me be nothing and less than nothing.
Rev. Mr. Andrews preached from Revelations: "There was war in heaven &c" -- a very good sermon. There were some of the Eggleston guards at meeting. The congregation was small. It rained in the morning. In the afternoon, seven cars loaded with horses, wagons, canons &c passed down.
Editor's comments:
Julia's mother was Sally Parker Cutler who was born in 1777 and died in 1846. She was the second wife of Julia's father, Ephraim Cutler. Ephraim's first wife, Leah Atwood Cutler died at the age of 42 on 3 November 1807. Leah knew Sally Parker (although Ephraim did not). As Leah became increasingly ill, she suggested to Ephraim that after she died, Sally would make a good wife for him. With four surviving children at home to care for and no relatives nearby, a helpmate for Ephraim was a necessity. After Leah's death, Ephraim wrote to Sally asking if he could call on her. Five months after the death of Leah, Ephraim and Sally were married. They had five additional children including Julia Cutler.
"A life of usefulness" for a woman was to be a helpmate to her husband and to raise their children. I suppose that because Julia had not married and did not have children of her own, she might have modestly written that in comparison to her mother, she would never be as useful. But Julia was a great help to her brother William and his household and was also a wonderful aunt to her many nieces and nephews. In addition, she devoted a good deal of time to writing journals, letters, and books about her family. For that bit of "usefulness", I am particularly appreciative.
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